Oh No, Michael Jackson Died! Quick, Everyone Start Buying His Shit!

Crusty Dead JacksonWhat? Michael Jackson is DEAD?! That's TERRIBLE! Oh man, that's a blow; really is it...the world seems a little bit darker today, doesn't it? I always respected him; I was one of his biggest fans!

Wait, what do you mean I never even liked any of Michael Jackson's music? How dare you say that to me! Oh, what, just because you've never heard me listening to him suddenly I don't "like his music"? I see how it is. People like you make me sick. The man is DEAD, you realize that right? He isn't coming back.
And anyway, it isn't true. I really DO like his music! Hold on...


There. See? I just bought Thriller on iTunes. If that doesn't prove I'm a fan I don't know what will. Honestly, you should buy it too. I mean, really, isn't it the LEAST you can do for the poor man? He IS dead after all. And not only that, but Thriller truly is a great album. They say it's a classic you know.

Jackson SternWhat's my favorite song? Ooooh, hmm...well it's so hard to choose. I really like "Thriller" the most. Definitely awesome. And "Beat it"? Damn man, talk about funky! Others? Uh...What about that song from Free Willy, is that on there? No? Damn. I gotta tell you man, that was a pretty good track. I'll have to figure out what it was called and grab that one too. You can never have too much Jackson, know what I mean?
Come to think of it, I had been meaning to get a couple more of his albums too. Think I'll do that right now. Let's see here...oh yeah! Here's Bad! Talk about bitchin, right?! I'm bad, baby, I'm bad, baby you know, baby! Watchitnow! Woo-wee, awesome! Hmm, I don't really recognize many of the other songs on here though. "Speed Demon"? "Librarian Girl"? Hmm...Hey check it out though, they've got his cover of that Alient Ant Farm song "Annie Oakley" as a bonus! Shweeet! I think I'm gonna have a good time with this album. Gotta give props to the classics.
And to think, you accused me of not liking him. Shows what you know. Would I have bought TWO of his albums if I didn't? As a matter of fact, I'll probably even buy a couple more. Why not, I'm a fan right? Didnt' he do something with Madonna at some point? Think I've seen the video for that one. I think he also had a pretty groovy track on the Godzilla soundtrack too. I'll check it out and let you know man. I know you aren't really a fan but I might be able to scrounge something up that'll pique your interest. But I gotta get going, see you.

So long Jack-y, we'll miss you buddy.

Jackson Fake