Bizarre News & Links (10.18.09)

Newspaper Bash
These weekly roundup articles are not nearly as easy to create as I had hoped. I mean look at this. Not only do I have to find all these stupid links and stuff, but I have to write a different opening paragraph every time. Then I have to arrange it in an HTML editor. It's obscene! And what, exactly, am I supposed to write in here? I just took care of the "lazy self aware opening paragraph about opening paragraphs" so I can't use that one again. At least not for a few months. I guess from now on I'm going to have to come up with something original. What a bunch of crap.
But what can you do? You pick of the pieces and you move on. So here are a bunch of photos, websites, and links which might be of interest to people with certain mental dysfunctions.

Weird News of The Week

Neighbors Thought Decomposing Body on Balcony Was Halloween Display
Neighbours had seen the body nearly a week before the discovery but hadn't called Police because they thought the corpse "looked like a Halloween dummy".
Morgue Employee Admits to Sex With More Corpses
He is currently serving a three-year sentence for having sex with another 18-year-old murder victim who was nearly beheaded in 1982 and had been in the morgue cooler for hours.

Chef Threatens To Shoot Waitress Over Salad Order
[The Chef] allegedly said if he received one more order for the salad, 'I swear to God I'll shoot you in the forehead'. The chef then allegedly slammed a black handgun inside its holster on a restaurant countertop. 'Now you see I'm ... serious, I'll put a bullet right in your forehead.'

Man on Police Ride-Along Stomps Opossum to Death
[He] saw the opossum run along a fence [and] ran up to the fence, grabbed the links and 'started stomping.' Schuler's lawyer said Schuler grew up on a farm where opossums killed his chickens and acted on instinct.

Man Arrested for Drunk Driving in Motorized Lay-Z-Boy
62-year-old Dennis LeRoy Anderson told police he left a bar in the northern Minnesota town of Proctor on his chair after drinking eight or nine beers. Police said the chair was powered by a converted lawnmower and had a stereo and cup holders.
Ice Skating Bear Kills Circus Director
The five-year-old bear from the prestigious Russian state circus was wearing ice skates when he lashed out at his handlers and circus staff before a performance of their "Bears on Ice" show in the Kyrgyz capital.

Beloved Image of The Week

 Candy Kids

Low-Budget Webpage of The Week

Dalzea's Xena Art Page
Xena Drawing

If you have any art of your own I would love to see them.
I will put up anything just as long as its not offensive


Youtube Video of The Week

Product of The Week

I decided to post this as a favor to those of you who continuously emailed me wondering where you could purchase a Nightmarish 7-Foot Pepsi Promotional Statue of Jar Jar Binks. You can rest easy now friends, because here it is. The seller makes the claim that "These [normally] sell for $1000-$1500" and since I have no reason to doubt the veracity of this, I can wholeheartedly recommend this amazing deal.
(NOTE: The seller also claims to be "no longer accepting offers for this item." but this cannot possibly be true. I suggest that you bid anyway if you would like to own this fantastic item.)
Don't miss out!

All Caps Amazon Customer Review of The Week

Charles in Charge: The Complete First Season Reviews

Well I think that's enough of that for now. More next weekend (whether you like it or not).

Photo Credits
[1] [2]