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The Baron’s Film Korner: Batman

By Martin “The Baron” Hubley
Howdy
folks, your old friend the Barron here again with episode 2 of The
Baron’s Film Korner. I would like this to be a regular feature,
but I’m not quite sure if the dumbat who runs this site will allow it.

 I feel it would help pull this site up by its pathetic bootstraps. Judging from the quality of other articles
I’ve seen around here, they need all the help they can get. Anyhoo, in this article I’ll discuss the newest
batman films Batman Begins, and Batman Begins 2.


By Martin “The Baron” Hubley
Howdy
folks, your old friend the Barron here again with episode 2 of The
Baron’s Film Korner. I would like this to be a regular feature,
but I’m not quite sure if the dumbat who runs this site will allow it.

 I feel it would help pull this site up by its pathetic bootstraps. Judging from the quality of other articles
I’ve seen around here, they need all the help they can get. Anyhoo, in this article I’ll discuss the newest
batman films Batman Begins, and Batman Begins 2.

Old Batmen

I’d like to start off this article with a joke (and a truth): When you create a new batman film, you’ve got a lot of Batstory
to contend with! But seriously, folks, to a lot of people (yours truly
included) Bat Man is serious business and shouldn’t be trifled with.
Here’s a quick history of Batman on stage and screen.

Batman (TV Series)Batman TV

This
was the show that started it all. The creator of this show was the
first to invision Batman and his friend Robin fighting crime and
smacking down crooks. Even though this show took place in the 1950s, it
sure did pack a punch.

Whenever a character would be struck by one of
the heroes, a large comic book word would appear on screen. These words
were things like “BOFFO” “SMUCK” or “CRUSH” and would really make you feel the blow.

Batman & Batman Returns

Batman Returns20These were the first real Batman Films. The first (Batman)
starred Micheal Keaton and superstar Jack Nicholas as the Jokester.
There isn’t much else I can say about it, because this movie was a
snooze. Keaton is fantastic, but Nicholas can’t compare to Keith Ledger
as The Jokester.

The less said about Batman Returns,
the better. Micheal returns as batman. Who cares. It also starred Danny
Devito (who I guess is a midget) as the penguin. This movie is
ridiculous. At the end of it SPOLIER ALERT (duh)
a bunch of other dwarves in penguin costumes carry Danny Devito’s dead
body into the water like he was some kind of underwater penguin Viking.
What in tarlation is that all about?

A Few Other Crappy BatmenBatman & Robin

Quite a few other Batmans have come around. Batman Forever
starred Val “The Saint” Killner as batman, and funnyman Jim Carrey (in
the role of a lifetime) took over the role of the Jokester.

 The movie
was overlooked, but very good. Years later, there was Batman & Robin with George Clooney as old bats, and Arnold Scwarznegger (can’t spell it) as the Iceman. Excellent fun!

Batman Begins

Batman BeginsSo now we’ve arrived at the first “real” Batman. Batman Begins
is director Christopher Nolan’s first feature length film, but it
doesn’t show. This man is a masterwork behind the camera. I almost felt
I was there beside batman fighting baddies and slaying the ladies with
my charm (just kidding, Tina).

Christian Bale is more than
wonderful as Bruce Wayne. We haven’t seen enough from this handsome and
beautiful young sprite in recent years. The last film I remember seeing
him in was Dead Poetry Society (rated one of my Funniest Films of All Time) where he starred alongside actor Ethan Hunt and Robin “Shakes the Clown” Williams.

This
film will have in on the edge of your seat. Batman trains with his
mentor the actor most known as QuiGon Jinn, who turns out to be evil.
Then he travels to New York, where his parents are murdered on
Halloween by a thug dressed as a vampire bat costume (which frightens
him). He then uses this fear to become batman and to kill the
Scarecrow, who is played by the doe-eyed young man who played Clark
Kent (superman) in Smallville. In the end, good triumphs over evil, and Batman gets the girl!

7/10 (Great!)

Batman Begins 2

Batman Begins 2I have just one problem with this movie: Why title your film Batman Begins 2 when Batman Begins Again would be far more affective (and cooler to boot!). But this is only minor sniggle, Batman Begins 2 is no doubt the greatest film ever committed to cellulose.

Keith
Ledger steals the screen (and our hearts) as the Jokester. He might
speak like a stroke victim and slurp his drool like a idiot, but the
only drool that’ll be coming from audience member’s mouths during this
film is awe drool at his performance. Honestly, a few times during the
film I had to head outside into the lobby to catch my breath. He was
just that frightening. I look forward to seeing more of Mr. Ledger in
the future!

Once again Christian Bale is passable as batman. He
doesn’t quite fill Clooney’s handsome shoes, but he gets the job done.
I am not a fan of the Monster voice he does for Batman though. This
isn’t an episode of Sesame Street Neighborhoods, it’s a horror film.

11/10 (Amazing!)

Batman has given us a lot over the years. He has made us laugh and he has made us cry. Email Me
if you’d like to talk about any of your private Batman experiences, and
I’ll post your responses here. I personally can’t wait for the next
flick in the series. Hopefully they bring back Clooney. But look out
for my next article, in which I review The Iron Man & Michael Clayton (a George Clooney legal drama), and as I’ve been known to say from time to time:

“Bring on the bats!”