20 Images So Fantastic They Probably Could've Cured Polio Before Jonas Salk Did If They'd Been Around Back Then

It's 7AM and I haven't gone to bed yet, so to save time, I think I'm just going to paste a user-submitted plot summary of the film Under Siege 2: Dark Territory instead of writing an actual intro:

Casey Ryback is traveling with his niece on a train, which is hijacked by terrorists. The terrorists need a moving headquarters, so they can take over a satellite capable of vaporizing anything in its path. The government can't stop them from destroying Washington and also rupturing a nuclear reactor, killing millions. Casey Ryback uses his Navy-Seal training to take out all of the terrorists in an action-packed ride.

But enough of that. Here are some pictures of things.

FOUND THIS IN A WISCONSIN TOURISM BROCHURE

FAAAAANTASTIC!

HEY BIG BEAR, WHATCHA UP TO?

EL LUCHADOR

WELL THAT'S FAIRLY UNPLEASANT

WE ROLLIN'

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY OBSCENE PUNS I WROTE FOR THIS CAPTION

I APPROVE OF THIS MAN'S EXISTENCE

COMPELLING EVIDENCE FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD

HEY, AT LEAST IT'S BETTER THAN THE SPECIAL EFFECTS ON THE NEW DR. WHO

BUILT LIKE MEGAMAN BOSS? WHY NOT TRY SOME SKINTIGHT NIPPLE-HIGH JEANS?

I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT ART, BUT I KNOW WHAT I LIKE

HARD TICKET TO HAWAII

THE DIGNITY OF OLD AGE

LARP LOVERBOY

I'M JUST GONNA GO AHEAD AND ASSUME THIS IS FROM RUSSIA

BROOKLYNVEGAN.COM: STAFF PHOTO